


Outside Is Just A Blur

by daggerandtherose



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Single Parent Louis, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:56:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggerandtherose/pseuds/daggerandtherose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' son might just be a technology genius as he has quite a knack for calling strangers up on Louis' phone.  Repeatedly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outside Is Just A Blur

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cuppalou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuppalou/gifts).



> for cuppalou; I hope this fulfills your prompt to the standards you hoped for. I kind of took you prompt and ran away with it, so I hope you like it.
> 
> This really just became a fic about Louis as a father but I thoroughly enjoyed writing about and reasearching all things babies. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own and I am in no way affiliated with One Direction or their families. This is a work of fiction.
> 
> I've been through a lot this summer and as a consequence of that this didn't really end in the way I hoped for it to. I'm considering writing a follow up to give a glimpse of the future or something, and try to end it in the way I hoped it would, but don't hold me on that.
> 
> Title from Hear Your Heart by James Bay because I adore this song and this man, the end. I also thought it was quite fitting considering the majority of this fic ended up being set inside, whoops.

 

Doing jobs around the house on his only day of the week off meant that Louis was constantly checking on, and distracted by, Finlay sat in his [door bouncer](http://www.mothercare.com//on/demandware.store/Sites-MCENGB-Site/default/Product-Show?pid=853739). The smile on his face made it obvious to Louis that he was probably having the time of his life jumping around in his seat, but what more could life give you at eight months old?  With an armful of socks the size of his thumb and fabric nappies, that were cheaper and, in Louis' opinion, more comfortable than the disposable kind, Louis walked through to the kitchen.  He caught Finlay's eye and made those terrible cooing noises at him, that he will firmly deny ever doing thank you very much, just to make him laugh.

 

And that's how it goes really.  Every Sunday, Louis wanders around his flat, washing and cleaning and doing anything else that needs to be done.  Most importantly, however, he does this whilst trying to put a smile on his son's face, because he is all that matters to Louis.

 

~*~

 

Having an eight month old son at the age of 23 is not something Louis ever thought would happen. But he copes. He has an amazing family who support him with whatever he needs, an incredible group who friends who are there for him on standby, and a relatively well paid job that gets him by and still lets him finish his last year in uni; he doesn’t really need anything else, he thinks.

 

Finlay is Louis’ life.  

 

Often, Louis finds himself thinking, just thinking, about how different his life would be today if Finlay hadn’t been born, but whatever scenarios he creates, nothing ever beats being able to witness the wonders of his beautiful boy.

 

~*~

 

Several textbooks have cornered Louis, surrounding him in a semi circle as he flits from one to another with a fluorescent highlighter in his hand.  A low hum of some food programme is playing in the background, ruining the silence that Louis finds louder than the television itself.  With exception to this, the only other noise comes from Finlay.  He babbles away, an incoherent group of noises that Louis is sure means something deep and powerful in his son’s mind, but is probably Finlay talking about poop or something of the sort.  

 

“Hey kiddo.”  Louis voice is gentle as he notices the babbling has quietened and Finlay’s wide eyes are fixed on him.  A smile breaks onto both the the boys’ faces, Finlay’s small limbs thrashing about as he recognises his dad.  Louis laughs, trying to take a picture when Finlay rolls onto his stomach (something that is very recent and almost gave Louis a heart attack when it first happened, he thought his baby was having a fit or something), but proceeds to take a video when Finlay starts clapping his hands together, little squeals coming from his mouth.

 

“Good boy!” Louis exclaims, holding his phone upright between his knees as he claps along to encourage his son.  

 

But that was all over as quickly as it had started. Finlay returns to lay on his his back, and that’s that.  Louis chuckles, knowing that his son’s attention span was never that great, and goes back to his work.  

 

He can feel Finlay’s gaze back on him not long after, large, round eyes staring at him upside down.  Finlay giggles when Louis twists his head so they were looking the same way, and stretches his small hand out when he sees notices the bright green of Louis’ phone case.  

 

“You want this?” Louis say, holding his phone up.  He still is not used to the new thickness of his normally slim mobile, the drop-proof case Louis realised as a necessity when Finlay threw the TV remote and it smashed against the table.  He’s going to have to start childproofing the entire flat soon enough, what with Finlay’s small belly shuffle he’s got going on that will soon evolve into a crawl, and his new favourite game of “Let’s-throw-everything-I-can-get-my-hands-on”. Jesus, his son is growing up so fast.

 

Finlay giggled again, and begun to gum around the silicone case as soon as it was in his hands.  He’s been doing that a lot lately, gumming on everything and anything he can, but chooses Louis’ phone as a personal favourite.  Louis won’t be surprised if his teeth start to show soon.  Louis sighed as he looked at the time, turning Finlay onto his stomach so he wouldn’t choke himself on his dribble.  

 

Keeping an eye on his son, Louis goes to make some dinner and heat up a half bottle for Finlay before he puts him down to sleep.  He probably should have put him down about an hour ago, but last minute revision before his final exams has been crucial lately, and time got away from him.  Whilst filling a pan with water from the sink, Louis looks over his shoulder at his son, who was pushing his hands at the screen of the mobile.  The open plan design was the main selling point as to why Louis chose to buy this flat just under a year ago - he was able to potter about in the kitchen and still watch Finlay playing in the living room.  Louis chuckled at Finlay’s nonsensical gurgling as he smashes some more at Louis’ phone screen.  He ensures there are eggs left in the fridge to make Finlay some breakfast in the morning, and finds a packet of instant noodles.  Well alright then, Louis’ found his dinner.

 

The “Who’s the Daddy?” kitchen timer (a wonderful present that came with a matching apron from Niall, because c’mon, who else?) alerts Louis that the bottle is ready and switches the milk for his noodles. Saving water and all that.  Testing the temperature of the milk on his wrist, he leaves the bottle on the coffee table and bends down to Finlay’s height.

 

“Come on, little fella.  Time for your-” Louis voice trails off when he notices his phone screen.  It’s in the middle of closing down from the phonecall page to the phone app, which… okay.  His call record says he’s just spent the last thirty seconds on the phone to someone.  someone with a number that wasn't saved. Louis always boasts to his friends about how smart Finlay already is, but he highly doubts an eight month old baby is able to make a phone call on his own, so he lets it go. Maybe it was a wrong number or something.

 

He sits Finlay between his legs on the sofa so he is sitting up with his head against Louis chest.  Finlay has been sitting up on his own so well recently, but Louis knows that as much as he’s been throwing things about lately, he can’t hold a bottle on his own yet.  With one hand barely against his baby’s stomach, and the other at the end of the bottle so Finlay can get his hands around it without dropping it, Louis rests his head against the back of the sofa, hoping that Finlay dozes off soon so he can eat some food and go to bed.

 

~*~

 

Louis forgets about the whole phone call thing until about three weeks later, when he watches Finlay gurgle to the screen of his mobile as though he is having an animated conversation with someone.  He laughs at the sight, thinking that Finlay is going to be a technology genius or something when he’s older, what with how well he has taken to the phone.  

 

Finlay squeals even louder the closer Louis gets to him, and Louis squeals back, mimicking his son’s actions of thrashing about in his baby bouncer. Louis leans down, reaching to lift Finn out of the cotton seat, when he hears it.

 

“Alright, bye baby. I’ve got to go now.”  

 

Louis freezes.  Finlay stops babbling.  Silence.  There was no one in the flat other than him and Finlay, yet Louis is a hundred percent certain he just heard a voice.  He takes the phone from Finlay’s hands, and sees another phone call record from that same number.  

Okay.  Louis’ freaked out now.  A random number has been calling his phone, more than once.  And only when Finlay has the phone, because he hasn't been speaking to anyone new…

 

Yeah, he’s definitely freaked out.

 

He presses against the number on his call log,  listening to the ringing sound on the line.  He’s going to find out what’s going on here. The phone rings.  And rings.  And rings.  

There isn’t even a personalised voicemail, something that could give Louis a clue to who this person is.  Just a bog standard network message that Louis doesn’t bother leaving a message to, because what is he going to say?

 

_‘Hi, this is Louis.  Who are you and why were you calling my nine month old son?’_

 

No.  Louis just hangs up, and let’s the thought ponder in his mind.

 

-

 

“Wassup Lou?”  Liam picks up on the fourth ring.  Louis holds his phone between his ear and shoulder as he lowers Finlay into his highchair at the breakfast bar in the kitchen.  Finlay whines at this, holding his arms out to be picked up again, but the frown soon turns into a smile when Louis places a bowl on banana slices in front of him.

 

“Liam, I’m scared.”  Louis scratches at his head, eyes focused on little fingers mushing up the fruit.  “I think some stranger is having phone calls with Finn on my phone.”

 

“I - um… what? You do realise how weird that sounds right?”

 

“I know.”  Whining, Louis pouts, even though he knows Liam can’t see him.  “But genuinely, Finn likes to gum around my phone and I think he’s been ringing and talking to some stranger.  It’s a random number, but I swear I heard voices and I promise it’s not me that’s been calling.”

 

“Lou, are you okay? You know Finn can’t speak yet, this isn’t making sense.”   Liam pauses, and Louis opens his mouth to reply, but Liam cuts him off before he can get a word out.  “Look, do you want me to come over?  I can watch him for a bit, maybe you need a nap or someth-”

 

“No Li, I’m fine.  It’s not that, I’m just a bit scared.  Like, some random has been talking to my son and I don’t know what to do about it."

 

Fatigue sweeps over Louis in an instant.  This happens sometimes, a feeling of “ _Am I really capable of raising Finn?_ ” that overwhelms Louis and breaks him down, bit by bit. It happened the first time Finlay refused to sleep, spending all nine hours of his usual nighttime sleep schedule screaming his tiny lungs to exhaustion.  It happened that time Louis fell asleep in class because he’d spent all night finishing coursework that he’d forgotten about, because he was trying to find a more stable daycare programme for Finlay than dropping him off at Liam's and Niall's every morning on rotation.  It happened the first time Finlay got sick, really sick; another screaming session in the night, followed by a brief moment when he stopped breathing and his temperature soared to 41℃.  Louis almost had a breakdown, calling his mum and rushing to the hospital.  He had never been so scared in his entire life than he was at 3am, tears falling down his face as he ran barefoot down the building stairs to his car in nothing but a pair of pyjama bottoms with a screaming 3 month old in his arms.  Louis thought he was going to lose Finlay that night, and it scares him right down to his bones even thinking about it. It doesn’t happen often, but when he does get this feeling, it hits him hard.  

 

He’s 23 for god’s sake, why did he think raising Finlay on his own would be a good idea? Instead of having to put up with a scrummy flat and a failure of a father, Finlay could be being spoilt by a loving family who could afford to buy him the expensive toys and clothes he deserves.  

 

The choked _Li_ that escapes his mouth with a wobble next alerts Liam to Louis' thought process.  

 

“Louis, no.  Stop thinking about it.  Finlay loves you, and you are a great father.”  Liam’s words started Louis off properly, water welling in his eyes.  Large blue eyes stare up at him, and the wide, dopey smile that Finlay gives him as he holds a sticky hand out makes Louis cry even harder.  “Right.  That’s it.  I’m coming over.”  

 

“No, no, I’m fine,”

 

“You’re not.”

 

“Yeah I am, I’ll be alright.  Just need a bit of a cuddle I think.  Where’s mum when you need her, eh?”  Louis tries to make light of the situation, hating to seem weak and vulnerable in front of his friends.  He chokes out a wet laugh. “And anyway, I’ve got the little’un here to keep me company.”

 

“Alright, as long as you’re sure?”  Liam waits for an affirmative hum from Louis before continuing.   “Hey, listen.  I’ll bring Finn home tomorrow, and I’ll get Niall to come over too.  We can have a cuddle and some beers and a decent chat that’s about man stuff for once.  No baby talk once Finn’s in bed.  I’m setting this rule now, do you hear?”  

 

Louis scoffs at Liam’s new rule.  “I don’t only talk about Finn!” He protests.  As soon as he’s said it, though, he can practically feel the pointed look that Liam is giving him down the phone.  “Okay, alright.  No baby talk.”

 

“Good.  We can watch a film or something, and we can sort out this phone dilemma you’ve got going on, yeah?”  Louis had almost forgot about the reason why he had called Liam in the first place, and starts mildly panicking about the situation when he is reminded.  “It’s gonna be fine, Lou.  You and Finn, you’re gonna be fine.”

 

“I know, thanks Li.  I’ll text you when I’m on my way in the morning.”

 

“You know I’m right. See you, Lou.”

 

~*~

 

When Liam came round with Finlay the next night after Louis got home from school, Louis did have a nap.  He didn’t know how much he needed it, putting up a fight when Liam ushered him into his room but passing out the minute his body fell against the mattress.  

 

He wakes up disoriented, but the good couple of hours he thinks he got in were duly appreciated on Louis’ behalf.  Walking down the hallways, he can see a naked baby clutching a plush rabbit (suitably named Hop) to his chest, an infectious laugh filling the room, and an almost equally naked Niall (when did he get here?) coming out of the bathroom.  Louis stands in the doorway of the living room, scratching at his neck in confusion.

 

“Is this, like, National ‘Let’s-get-naked’ Hour or something?”

 

“Your baby is Satan reborn.”  Niall doesn’t even look at Louis, just kneels in front of Finlay with a nappy between his teeth and uses his hands to pin Finlay’s arms and legs together. Finlay, ever Louis' son, let out a high pitched squeal as he thrashed his limbs around, determined to make things as hard as possible for Niall.

 

“I would ask you if you want any help but you seem to have everything covered there…” Louis trails off in laughter, and when Niall whips his head around to face him with a glare, which just makes Louis laugh even harder.  “Okay, two questions.  Why is everyone naked? I’ve I hadn’t known you for as long as I have, I’d be slightly creeped out right now.  And where’s Liam gone?  I trusted him with my baby and he just abandons us!”  Louis exclaims the last sentence dramatically as he sits on the edge of the sofa, reaching out to give Niall a hand only to get shooed away.

 

“I’ve got it.”  Niall continues, tacking down the sides around Finn’s legs.  “Anyway.  Liam went out to get pizza because neither of us wanted to make anything to eat, and like the second he left, this.. this _thing_ decides to do the biggest shit I have ever seen in my life.  No joke, it was like half his body weight, and smelt like a dead God knows what.  So I go to try and change him, and you know I don’t deal well with all this nappy crap anyway, and just before I go to put the new nappy on, he pisses all over my shirt _and_ the new nappy!”  

 

Louis is almost crying with Niall’s story, because he looks genuinely put out be the whole situation.  Picking Finlay up and seating him on his lap, Louis pushes his fist against his son’s, pretending to praise Finlay for causing Niall all of this trouble.  

 

“This isn’t funny, you know.  I wasn’t trained for this shit!  And I want that shirt washed, too.”

 

“Alright, alright, just get over here.  This little trooper has missed his Uncle Niall.”  Niall finishes washing his hands and trades the dish towel for Finlay with Louis.  

 

“Do you know if Li fed him earlier?”

 

“Yeah, some mashed up fish and peas I think.  Looked gross, but smelt good.”  Louis starts to heat up a half bottle, knowing that Liam would be back with pizza soon and he wanted to put Finlay down beforehand.  

 

“Liam told me about your phone call yesterday.”  Niall talks from the sofa, blowing raspberries on Finlay’s bare stomach to make him laugh.  Louis just hums noncommittally, finding the label on Finn's formula tub suddenly very interesting. "What are you gonna do about it?"

 

"I dunno, I might just leave it. I mean, what can I do? It's not like they're like being weird about Finn or whatever, like perving on him or something. I don't even know if they're actually talking, for all we know I could just be imagining things. The whole situation is something that I'm not sure how to handle."

 

The rustle of a key in the lock pauses the conversation.  Liam isn’t even through the doorway before Niall is taking the pizza from his hands.  Louis collects Finn from Niall’s other arm and goes about giving him his nighttime bottle.  

 

“Liam Payne.  I trust you with my son, and you abandon him.  You leave him with this delinquent, and _then_ you steal from me.  Did I give you permission to remove my very own house keys from their designated hook?”  Louis’ being a little shit just to get on Liam’s nerves, and he knows it.  Niall lets out a protesting “ _Hey_ ” at Louis’ cheeky comment.

 

“Oh shut up, you knob.”  Liam ignores Louis and Niall’s joint gasp at Liam’s word choice - “ _there are innocent ears in the room, for God’s sake_ ” - in favour for stealing Finlay from Louis arms.   

 

“Hey kiddo. I would never abandon you, would I?” Louis stands there with an unimpressed look on his face as Liam bounces Finlay around in his arms.  

 

Finlay presses a small hand against Liam’s cheek.  “‘eeeem.”  

 

Everyone freezes.  Finlay giggles softly into Liam’s neck.

 

“Did.. did he just say ‘iam?  As in Liam?”  Liam whispers to break the silence that filled the room.

 

“Nuh uh.  Nope,”  Louis begins, taking his son from Liam’s arms and walking towards Finlay’s room.  “There is no way your grubby name is being his first word.  And there is _definitely_ no way he is saying your name before he calls me Dad.  Nope.”  

 

Liam and Niall just stand there in shock whilst Louis starts reading Finn a story in his room as he finished his bottle.

  
  


-

 

It wasn’t two hours later when Liam brought the phone call thing up again, Louis half asleep with his head in Liam’s lap as the end credits to the film they had just watched rolled down the screen.  

 

“Do you know what you’re gonna say?”

 

“Hmm?”  Louis stretched as he sat up, scratching at the sparse hair on his stomach.

 

“To the phone person.  You’ve gotta find out who it is, or at least block their number or something.”

 

“I think I’m just gonna leave it.  I mean, they haven’t rung today or anything.  Maybe I was just imagining things.”   

 

Louis’ non-committal response annoys Liam, because he knows Louis’ doing what he does best, and that’s avoiding his problems that he doesn’t know how to solve immediately.  

 

Relief washes over Louis as the shuffling of Finlay waking up comes through on the baby monitor, knowing that he can escape the conversation when in less than a minute his son is sure to start crying.  

 

“Nuh uh.  I’ve got him.” Liam stands from the sofa quicker than Louis, a pointed glare forcing Louis to stay in his seat.  “I’ll sort Finn out, you ring the number.  Even if it’s nothing, just be certain that it’s a wrong number.  At least you’ll know then.”  Liam leaves without another word, leaving Louis’ phone obnoxiously on the arm of the sofa.

 

“Oh alright then.  If it means so much to you.”  He makes sure to raise his voice slightly so Liam can hear him.  

 

He twists his body around to drape his legs over Niall, not caring if a foot hits his face or whatever.  Here it goes.

 

Louis presses call and waits.  The ringing in his ear goes on and on and at this point he’s starting to wonder if he imagined the whole thing, but the number has to have come from somewhere.

 

He’s rung back twice so far, and each time has the same outcome; voicemail.  

 

“Hey, no answer.  Well, there’s that done then.”  Louis can hear Liam singing to Finlay over the baby monitor to try and get him back to sleep.  He closes his eyes at the sound of Liam's voice, slowly drifting to the soothing sounds.

 

"Don't even think about sleeping, Louis Tomlinson." jolts Louis awake, the sight of Liam towering over him leaving his eyes wide. " You're not getting off that easily."  

 

"He didn't pick up. Not my problem anymore."

 

The disapproving look on Liam's face made the context of his next sentence pretty obvious, but the sound of Louis's ringtone froze them both. Two pairs of eyes spun to watch the phone vibrating on the table; Niall had most probably falling asleep alongside Louis, head thrown back against the back of the sofa. The classic Marimba ringtone for numbers Louis hadn't saved filled the room.

 

It was him.

 

"Louis. Pick it up."  Louis caught the phone that Liam had just thrown at him.

 

"No. You answer it."  He threw the phone back.

 

"If you don't answer it, I'll burn all of your clothes."

 

"I don't wanna."

 

"Louis!"

 

"Okay!" He slid the answer button.

 

Louis didn't expect the answer he got. "Hi baby! Sorry I didn't answer first. It's a bit late for you to be up, isn't it?"

 

Louis was more than confused. Liam was gesturing to put the phone on speaker, and Louis did, so he could have some back up here.

 

"Um, sorry. This is Louis Tomlinson, I own this phone. Can I ask who this is?"

 

"Oh my God, you're Baby's daddy. Hi, it's nice to meet you, I'm Harry."

 

Louis could only imagine that his face mirrored the horror and confusion that Liam's pictured. Going into the conversation, he didn’t really have any expectations of how it was going to go, he didn’t want to think about it at all really.  But this… this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.  

 

“Okay, Harry, look.  I don’t know how to put this but it’s kind of fucking creepy that you talk to my kid.  Like, I thought maybe I was just imagining things and I just dialed a wrong number by accident once but you actually speak to him, you call him Baby for Christ’s sake.  This isn’t fucking normal.”  

 

The more abnormal the situation got, the more Louis hyped himself up.  Liam eyed Louis up, shocked at his sudden outburst considering how awry he has been regarding the whole dilemma, but edges back down the hall quickly to close the door to Finlay’s room.

 

“Alright mate, no need to swear.” The harsh tone that emitted from the phone contrasted the cheery tone that Harry once held.  “That’s no way to speak considering I’m pretty certain there’s a child in the house -”

 

“Don’t you dare tell me how to speak around my son!”  Louis raised his voice.  Who did this guy think he is?  Whoever he is, he was being fucking rude and had nothing to stand on.  He didn’t know anything about Louis, nor Finlay.

 

“-but in case you were actually wondering, this number rung me first.”  

 

That stopped Louis’ internal rant.  A hand came down on Louis’ shoulder, Niall’s eyes showing worry as he pushed Louis to sit on the sofa.  Liam emerged from the kitchen with three glasses of water grasped in his hands.  Louis was torn with their presence; he was grateful for their loyalty, but wanted to be alone to process everything.  

 

“I got a call one day, right, and I picked up and it was just a baby babbling.  So I hung up, but your son called back straight away, so I listened.  I guessed he had just been playing and pushed some buttons, I knew it was only an accident, but I listened.  I have a goddaughter. yeah.  She’s five now, but when she was little, she liked it when I just listened to her.  I let her talk away, and she loved it, so I thought your baby might like the same.  I’m not saying you don’t give him attention or whatever, but I’d talk back like we were having a proper conversation, and I just guessed he enjoyed it by the squeals and all that.  I hung up after like 5 minutes, but he rung back a few days later, and the day after that, so I just talked at him.  I’m not some weird pedophile or anything - actually forget I said that, because I guess that’s what pedos would say - I just wanted to make him happy.”  

 

All three of them just watched the phone.  Louis was not only shocked at Harry’s speech, but shocked that, in a way, his nine-month old son instigated this whole crisis.  It was Finlay.

 

“Hello?”  Harry’s voice jolted Louis back from the corners of his mind, where he was trying to process everything.

 

“Hi, yeah.  Sorry for shouting at you mate.  I guess I was just worried for Finn’s safety and whatever, and I didn’t know how to handle everything.”

 

“Finn?”

 

“Yeah.  Well, Finlay actually, but Finn.”  A smile spread across Louis’ face.  His little boy had caused him so much stress and trouble these past few days, but thinking about his adorable face as he slept in his crib eliminated any irritation Louis held against him.  “Hey look mate, I’ll let you go then.  I really do apologise for all the confusion, and again for shouting at you.  I don’t normally do that.  I’ll block your number or something, stop Finn from bothering you again if he gets his hands on my phone again.”  

 

“It’s alright.  If I was a parent, I’m sure I’d probably worry a thousand times more.  And you don’t have to go through all that trouble, I just won’t answer if you don’t want me to.  Sorry that I made you worry.”  There was a hint of sadness in Harry’s voice, but Louis paid no attention that all he could think about was giving his friends a cuddle goodbye and going to bed.

 

“That’d be ace mate.  See you then.”

 

“Bye.”

 

And that was it.  Harry was gone.  With a sigh, Louis slumped back against the sofa, worn out from a tiring conversation.  Niall immediately curled up, giving Louis the attention he was both craving and despising at that moment.  In Louis’ mind, not only did he just work the whole thing out with Harry and get it all sorted, it was a massive learning curve as a parent.  Many thoughts started to flood his mind about how he handed everything and what that meant about him as a father, but immediately he dismissed them.  It was far too late to be thinking about those type of things.  

 

“You did well, Lou.”  Liam pressed a reassuring hand into Louis' thigh.  "Honestly, you dealt with it really well.  I did get a bit scared when you started to shout, like what the fuck Lou," Louis scoffed at that, Liam chuckling slightly at his own words. "But I'm proud."

 

Niall reciprocates Liam's kind words, both of them engulfing Louis in a big hug.

 

"Thanks guys.  I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I'm exhausted and I have school tomorrow and..." Louis left the end of the sentence hanging in the air, hinting that he wanted to be left alone.  Being the most wonderful friends that Louis could ask for, Liam and Niall left straight away after a quick but meaningful hug, and a beer in each of their right hands.

 

Louis was truly exhausted. He was still very confused - how on earth had his nine month old son have rung the same number multiple time?  How could his son have rung someone full stop?

 

He stopped outside Finlay's room, looking in as the child wriggled in his sleep.  Louis couldn't have wished for anything better to be in his life, and passed out as soon as his bare body hit his sheets.

 

~*~

 

Rushed was not the word to describe how Louis was feeling right now.  He had an hour until the train left the station, and on a good day it took 25 minutes to drive there, yet he was still to pack his own bag, and Finlay was determined to not cooperate with getting his clothes on.

 

“I swear to God Finn, if you don’t stop I will actually cut your legs off.”  Louis was only mumbling to himself, but felt a little bad when Finlay cried even harder.  Louis bent down and blew a loud raspberry against Finlay’s bare stomach, and he seemed to forget what he was so upset about when his screams turned to laughter.  Louis’ over exaggerated actions distracted Finlay enough that he could squeeze his legs into a pair of [grey joggers](http://www.vertbaudet.co.uk/baby-boy-s-fleece-trousers-with-ribbed-waistband-grey-medium-mixed-color.htm?ProductId=702090200&FiltreCouleur=6443&t=1), and once that was done, the rest came easily enough.

 

Wrestling a jumper over his head, Louis strapped Finlay into his [travel car seat](http://www.mamasandpapas.com/product-zoom-duo-package-black/493325300/type-i/) so he was ready to leave.  The taxi was due in 10 minutes, so he really needed to hurry up.  The fact he was relying on his mum having most of the essentials probably proved how bad of a father he was, but he honestly couldn’t care about anything else other than getting on that train as he filled a small suitcase with enough clothes for both him and Finlay for the week.  Nappies and other on-the-go essentials were already in Finlay’s travel bag by the front door. Louis threw on some clothes for himself, and realising too late that he was going to have to be that guy who matched his own outfit to his child’s, but it was just going to have to do.  

 

A text came through from the taxi company, and Louis struggled out of the building with Finlay’s seat in one hand, travel bag thrown over his shoulder, and suitcase trailing behind him, just in time.  Foregoing the entire pushchair frame was a good decision on his behalf, Louis thought, as he strapped Finlay in whilst the driver packed away the suitcase.

 

“Thanks mate.”  He said as he driver reentered the car.  “Station please.”

 

-

 

Louis would give anything to sleep away the almost two hour long journey from King’s Cross to Doncaster train station, but he has to stay awake because of Finlay, even if he’s dozing on and off in his seat.  Instead, he plugs his earphones into his iPad and finds a film to watch through one ear, glancing at Finlay next to him every few minutes.  

 

They aren’t even half way through the journey when Finlay starts to get restless.  Louis tries everything to try and settle him: he gets him out of the seat to give him a cuddle and play with him, he walks him up and down the aisle, even playing some Elvis on a low volume, because he doesn’t know how or why, but Finlay seems to adore his voice.  But nothing works.  Louis’ had enough when Finlay starts to throw his toys down the aisle, glad for the quiet hour of the day so he can avoid the disapproving looks that he knows he would be getting if the carriage was more full.  He stands to pick the toys off the floor, and the tell-tale spluttering of Finlay’s crying begins.  

 

“Come on, baby.  Not today.”  Louis knows Finlay is neither hungry nor does he need changing, and he’s been playing with him enough for him not to want some attention.  He’s just agitated, bored of his stuffy car seat and his surroundings.  

 

Louis hands Finlay his phone as a distraction whilst he tries to brainstorm things to do.  When he gets to the point where he’s seriously considering lying on the train floor with his son to let him shuffle about for a while, he realises that Finlay’s snuffling has stopped, and he’s gazing wide eyed at Louis’ phone screen.  He slowly brings his swaying to a stop, hoping that Finn’s traumatic twenty minutes have tired him a bit.  The screen comes to life, a bright photograph of a seven month old hand against Louis’ adult one.  In the months since the picture was taken, Louis has taken hundreds more of his son, but none have come close to replacing Louis favourite picture of the two of them, even if it is only of their hands.  Finlay screeches when the screen lights up, looking up at Louis like he’s saying _“look what I did!_ ”.  Louis just snickers at Finlay, sitting on his seat with Finlay close to his chest.  

 

Louis closed his eyes briefly knowing that Finlay was content with mucking about on his phone for a while.  That is, until a voice came from the near empty carriage that he had definitely heard before.  

 

Finlay gurgles a combination of “ma”’s and “ba”’s and “oo”’s when the voice comes through.

 

“Hello?”  Louis eyes shoot open.  Finlay continues with his noises.

 

“Baby.”  Harry sighs.  “I’m in a bit of a rush baby, I can’t speak for long.  I don’t think your daddy wants you to keep ringing me, you know.”  

 

Finlay squawks up at Louis at “daddy”, and Louis is so pleased that Finlay recognises him as his dad that he forgets that Harry’s on the line for a second.

 

“Hello?”  

 

“Oh shit.”  The phone falls to the floor as Louis goes to take it out of Finlay’s hands, and he awkwardly has to struggle to bend down whilst holding a baby to retrieve it.  “Hi, hi.  Hi Harry.”

 

“You alright mate?”  Harry seems interested now, much more so than he was originally.  “Thought you were gonna talk to Finn about stranger danger, you know.”  Harry’s comment is light-hearted and comes out with a chuckle, so Louis forces his defensive side back down.

 

“Yeah, I know mate.  I’m really sorry for bothering you again.  We’re on a train and Finn’s got my phone because he was bored.  I might go get him tested you know, see if he’s a kid genius, seeing as it’s always your number he seems to ring.”  

 

“Maybe he’s just attuned to me spiritually.”  Harry laughs again, and whilst the sound of that is beautiful, Louis is a bit perplexed by his remark.  “Hey, I was thinking…”

 

“Hmm, did it hurt?”

 

“Hey.”  The drawn out sound amuses Louis because Harry seems genuinely offended for a moment.  “Maybe you should save my number.  For you!  Not Finn.  I mean, he’s great to talk to and all but I like talking to adults too, and you seem like a nice guy and everything.”

 

Harry sounds rather flustered as he rattles on, and Louis finds himself enjoying having a laddy type of conversation with someone other than Liam, Niall and Finn.  It’s not that he doesn’t have friends, because he does.  There’s the guys from school that he still sees every few weeks, and there’s Luke from back home, but Harry appears to be someone that Louis can see himself becoming close with.  

 

That thought stops Louis.  What is he going on about?  He doesn’t even know this guy!

 

“I’m not sure, I mean-”  

 

“Oh go on!  Even if I need to be your emergency babysitter one night, it’s always nice to have an extra person there for you.”  Harry’s tone sounds genuine, so Louis ignores his mind and goes with his gut.  

 

“Alright then, I love exploiting Finn’s inevitable adorableness.”  He jokes, hoping Harry will find the funny side to his comment.  “I’m just hoping you live in London, might just take you up on that babysitter offer - once I’ve met you first of course.  Gotta make sure you’re not gonna murder my baby or anything.”

 

“Well, you’re in luck.  London born and bred, right here.  My parent’s moved up north a few years back, though.”

 

-

 

Louis is surprised how quickly the call for Doncaster station comes up, his conversation with Harry making the last hour of his journey fly by.  Louis had strapped a sleeping Finlay into his travel seat about ten minutes into his and Harry’s phone call, knowing that he’d be out like a light for at least the remainder of his journey, and was right.  

 

With the help of a kind man from his carriage, Louis manages to get both his suitcase and Finlay onto the platform, and set off to find his mum in the station car park.  Louis knew he should be focused on finding the right car, but he couldn’t stop his trail of thought from drifting back off to Harry. Louis liked what he had come to know about Harry, and yeah, how the met is pretty unconventional, but that didn’t have to stop them from becoming friends.  It’s always nice to make new friends, and it’s not like he would have to hide Finlay from him.  If anything, Finlay seemed to like Harry already and-

 

Louis was getting away from himself.  Yeah, this Harry guy sounded nice, but he was a stranger, and Finlay’s safety is priority.  

 

His mum standing at the boot of her car brings Louis back to reality.  A big smile spreads across her face when she sees him, one so infectious that Louis couldn’t help but reciprocate it.  

 

“Hi mum.”  Jay ignored her son and went straight for the sleeping baby in Louis’ arms.  

 

“Oh look at him.  He’s got so big!  I haven’t seen him in forever!”

 

“You saw him on facetime last week, Mum.”

 

“It’s different in person.  Let me have this moment.”  Jay quickly dismissed Louis and took Finlay out of his hand, working or strapping the travel seat into the car whilst Louis loads the suitcase into the boot.    

 

Finally, Jay shuts the car door and let Louis sink into her embrace.  It was nice have his mum back for a bit, Louis thought.  

“I’ve missed you, Lou.” Jay’s tone doesn’t sound disapproving at all, just genuine love for her child, but Louis knows that it is his fault.

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been home for a while.  It’s just with finishing school and settling into summer with Finn and it’s all just been a bit hectic.”

 

“I know baby, and you know how proud I am that you are dealing with everything the way you are.  But come on, no time for moping.  The guys are gonna be home in a bit and I want some personal time with two of my favourite boys.”

  
  


It was as though he had never left.  It was still a household rule that when Louis was home, the left side of the longer sofa was his.  His family knew it, and he loved the power.  He sat with a mug of tea in his hands, blanket wrapped around his legs with his toes pressed up against his mum’s.  Finlay was amusing himself on the play blanket that his mum had around for the younger twins, rolling around amongst the toys surrounding him.

 

Louis loved being able to spend time alone with his mum.  What with him moving away, and there always being at least one of his siblings around at any given time, he didn’t get the opportunity that much, so the hour that he had left was like a godsend.  They talked about anything they could think about:  Finlay’s progression, Louis’ school work and successful PGCE application,  how things were back at home. For now, Louis decided to not tell his mum about Harry.  It was no longer a big deal, not really that much of a big deal to begin with, so he thought it best to not let his mum worry about something that wasn’t worth it.  

 

Louis had just got up to make a cup of tea, Finlay sat firmly between Jay’s thighs to have some “ _grandma bonding time_ ”, when the first wave hits.  Phoebe and Daisy come bounding into the hallway just as Louis leaves the living room, closely followed by Dan with a baby in each arm.  

 

“Lou!”  The girls gasp, rushing forward to hug him all at once.  It’s in moments like this that Louis wishes he hadn’t grown up so quickly, that he was younger and still living at home so his sisters didn’t have to miss him because they saw him everyday.

 

“Now how are my two favourite eleven year olds doing?”  Louis gave a friendly nod at Dan, who squeezed past the bundle of the three to see Jay in the living room as he reciprocated the greeting, whilst the girls began to talk over each other.  

 

They both went silent when Daisy asked, “Did you bring Finlay with you?”  

 

“I’m sorry girls, I had to leave him in London with Niall.”  Two identical pouted bottoms lips stuck up at Louis as he laughed.  “Go on, he’s with Mum.”  

 

The girls rush away, leaving Louis to continue with his original task.  He was waiting for the kettle to boil, scrolling through his phone notifications, when a text came through.

 

**Hi**

 

Harry.  Louis is almost ashamed at himself for smiling.  Almost.

 

_hbreqbierqgfivijkl_

 

**Finlay?**

 

_wth harry, do you really think my son could actually text you?!_

 

**Well he did learn how to ring me!**

 

_...fair point :p. what you up to?_

 

 -

  
  


Louis continued to text Harry for the rest of the afternoon, watching his family interact around him.  He loved this feeling; it was though he had never left.

 

Lottie returned home just as Louis was about to put Finlay down for his nap.  She stood frozen in the doorway, watching Louis take Finlay from Fizzy’s arms.  They both looked at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

 

“Hey Lotts.”  Louis tried.  Since Finlay was born, the two hadn’t really seen much of each other - Lottie always seeming to be at a friend's house whenever Louis visited.  

 

“Hi. Um..”  Lottie’s eyes were firmly on Finlay when he tightened his grip on Louis shirt and pushed his head further into Louis’ neck.  Louis glanced down, watching the baby’s movement too.

 

“Do you want to hold him?  He’s a bit tired but he should be alright for ten minutes or so.”  Louis scanned the room quickly, but no one was paying attention when Louis moved closer to the doorway. Lottie looked like a deer in headlights, eyes wide and fixed on the baby in Louis’ arms.  “It’s alright, Lotts.”  

 

“I can’t, I mean… Lou.”

 

“It’s okay.”  Louis transferred Finlay into Lottie’s arms,  watching her take him with ease and practice.  “He’s just like the twins.”  

 

Louis stepped back when his sister moved Finlay into a more comfortable position for both of them.  It looked natural; Lottie’s eyes showed affection and fondness when Finlay engaged with her hold.  Louis wished he could take a picture with his eyes, hold this image within his memory forever.

 

That is, however, until Finlay started crying.  There’s wasn’t any of the usual warning hints that Louis is accustomed to.  A quick splutter followed by full blown tears.  The moment was gone.  Louis reacted immediately, seeing the panic set in Lottie and stepping in to help out.  

 

“Lou, Louis!”  

 

“It’s alright, it's alright.”  Louis lifted Finlay back to his chest from Lottie’s outstretched arms.  “It wasn’t you Lottie, he’s just tired!”  

 

Louis tried to call up but it was too late, Lottie had already disappeared upstairs and into her room.  Finlay’s cries had subsided slightly, and as he turned to climb the stairs, he caught his mum looking wistfully after the three of them.  He could tell she was as hopeful as he was.  

 

~*~

 

A cool breeze flooded through the open window into the stifling room.  Louis kept glancing up from his seat on the sofa.  Distractions were easily welcomed from sorting out and paying various bills online; he wasn’t struggling financially, but Louis never found it nice to see his bank balance reduce after 'Bill Day'.  He found himself finding Finlay's antics a lot more amusing, and used the excuse of watching his son to let his focus stray.  

 

Finlay was rolling around on his back, gnawing at the ear of his favourite stuffed bear.  Each time he caught Louis watching him, he would grin at his father, drool sliding down his chin and into the already matted fur of his toy. Every now and then, he would thrash his limbs wildly, the bear flying out of his grip. And every time, his face would screw up (the look enormously similar to his " _about to poo_ " face, Louis notices) and he would roll over onto his stomach and drag himself across the floor in the style of an army soldier to retrieve it.                                                              

 

Until one time, he didn't.

 

Louis sighs, stretching his arms above his head to click his joints back into place.  He might have to look into a new sofa, he thinks, because sitting on it for two hours shouldn't leave a person this stiff.  A gurgling noise draws his attention to his son, and Louis huffs a laugh at Finlay's screwed up face. He goes to stand up, to reach for Finlay's stuffed toy for him before he goes to get a drink, but a movement makes him gasp.  

 

Finlay had shuffled his way towards the sofa, still watching the bear on the floor. Internally, Louis told himself to not move a single muscle. If what he thought was about to happen was true, he had to stay out of it. He couldn't help himself, however, and slowly stretched across to the table to retrieve his phone.  This was a big moment in his son's life, and Louis would be damned if he didn't record it.  

 

He'd clicked record just in time for Finlay to curl his fingers into the fabric of the sofa, using his tight grip to pull himself up onto his feet. Louis made a choked sound, tears in his eyes, when Finlay held on and began swaying on his chubby legs.  The look of determination stayed on Finlay's face, and by this point he was glaring daggers at his stuffed toy, as he twisted his body and made for the toy.  The movement was rushed, and in the six steps it took for him to reach the floor, Louis was screaming in delight.

 

"Go on, son!  That's my baby!"  Louis cheered, getting closer to Finlay whilst still recording.  Louis had never felt so proud of anything in his life, and definitely was not ashamed that he was crying.

 

But the sudden noise had startled Finlay, and he tripped over his own feet after losing concentration.  Louis' cheering immediately turned into sympathy as he consoled his wailing baby, but he was still on top of the world.

 

Next thing he knew, Louis was stroking his hand down Finlay's back, rambling on about how intelligent his baby was, whilst scrolling through his phone.

 

"He walked!"  Finlay jumped at Louis' sudden shout.  "He did it, Harry! A good five or so steps and everything!"

 

Louis' pride was enhanced by the cheering from Harry's end of the line.  

 

"Did you film it?  Please tell me you filmed it?"  What stood out for Louis was hearing the pride in Harry's voice too, like he was also invested in Finlay's development.

 

"What do you take me for? 'Course I filmed it, my baby walked for Christ's sake!  Like, I might have scared him a bit and made him trip over but it's all good cos my baby's so smart, y'know."

 

Louis was bursting at the seams with pride, unable to contain his beam.

 

Look,"  Louis didn't know where his next words came from, but they spilled from his lips before he could stop them, "gimme one second and I'll show you, yeah?"

 

Louis hangs up before Harry can reply, but quickly calls him back on FaceTime.

 

"He's standing again! Harry, can you see?" he shouts as soon as the call connects. He goes to whoop again, but gets distracted by Harry cheering on the screen.

 

The repetition of " _Lou? Louis?_ " snapped him out of his thoughts, thoughts of how beautiful and oure and handsome this man on the screen was.

 

"I don't think I know what I expected you to look like all this time, but I definitely did not expect you to look like this."  he blurts out, slapping his hand against his mouth when he realises what he said.  

 

"Uh,"  In the small box on the bottom of the screen, Louis notices that his camera is still faced at the back of Finlay's head, so promptly turns it to face himself.  Harry stutters further, "thanks, I think."

 

And they talk.  They sit there and talk for ages. About everything and nothing at the same time.

 

"You were the first."

 

"Huh?"

 

"I rang you first."  Louis registers his thoughts at the same time as the fall from his lips.  "You were the first person I thought of to tell when Finlay took his first steps.  Not my mum, not my best mates, you."

 

The grin Harry formed was so large that from the ange his phone was placed at, it spilled out of view from the camera.

 

"It's Finn's birthday in a month.  Will you come to his party?"

 

Harry's grin grew impossibly larger.

  
  


~*~

 

It had been a rough few weeks for Louis.  The weather had been abnormally hot, even for the summer month of August; the average temperature had been 26℃.  Finlay wasn’t taking well to the extreme heat, and it didn’t help that his first tooth was coming through so he was already flushed.  

 

One evening, Finlay was especially unsettled.  The temperature was reaching its higher end, and it seemed as though he just wasn’t up to anything.  He barely touched his food at dinner time, and that was what really alerted Louis that something was wrong, because Finlay had been gnawing on anything he could get his hands on recently.  When a beautiful bowl of cheesy pasta and raw carrot sticks was placed in front of him, Finlay looked up at Louis and pushed the bowl off of the tray of his [booster](http://www.mamasandpapas.com/product-baby-bud-putty/412403600/type-i/), starting to cry.  Louis attempted his best parent voice when he scolded his son for his bad behaviour, but continued to try and tempt Finlay into one of the carrot sticks.  Little did Finlay know that Louis was trying to help sooth the irritation in his mouth.

 

Then came bath time.  Louis was digging through the bathroom cabinet for some vaseline to cover Finlay’s chin - “ _just another sign of teething Lou, the sores are from all of the drooling_ ” Jay had reassured him when they first appeared - with Finlay propped up on his hip.  The baby refused to cooperate, thrashing his hands out to knock things off of the shelf, and crying again when Louis retaliated with a firm “No.”.

 

Once Finlay was finally in the water, he seemed to relax again.  It gave Louis a quiet and playful 10 minutes to compose himself, and part of him wanted to leave Finlay in the tub all night if he meant he was calm.  The two of them went through their bath routine: baby wash, talcum powder, full body massage, pyjamas of the day.  The massage thing was something that he’d picked up on a baby website in the early days, something he’d done a lot of reading of.  Finlay seemed to love the way Louis would rub the fragrance-free body lotion all over his body, his limbs moving in almost autopilot as Louis’ hands covered them.  

 

The wash had calmed Finlay completely, and Louis managed to go through the rest of the bedtime process with ease.  He had heard that skin-on-skin was always good for bonding, so before he dressed Finlay each night, the two would lay on the floor together.  Louis would read a book or sing a song with Finlay beginning to doze on his chest.  It had been something that had worked for them, and Louis loved nothing more than to lay with his son, both of them in nothing but their pants.  

 

It was over an hour later than usual when Louis finally placed a sleeping baby into his crib.  The night had been tough for both of them, but the vaseline and the carrots looked to have improved Finlay’s discomfort.  Louis took a moment to sit in the recliner in Finlay’s room, watching the boy shuffling to try and find a comfortable position to spend the night in.  The image soon began to blur, and Louis knew he was tired.  Parenting was tough.

 

He trudged across the hall into his own bedroom, not bothering to change his pants or brush his teeth like he normally would.  The pillow just looked too inviting.  Louis felt as if he melted when the side of his face fell against the encased duck feathers.  His body was falling into a land of clouds and blankets as the fatigue took over his mind and he drifted into a deep, deep slumber.

 

And then the crying started again.

Parenting was really tough.  

 

“Come _on_ child!”  Louis cried to himself.  

 

Taking his pillow with him, he traipsed back into Finlay’s room.  The baby was on his back, face bright red as his lungs exerted themselves.  

 

“Hey, kiddo.  Why don’t we get some sleep, yeah?  It’s late and we’re both tired.  Let’s have a nap and then we can be angry with the world tomorrow.  Just help Daddy out here.”  Louis didn’t even know what he was saying, just rambling to himself and he began to bounce Finlay gently in his arms.  

 

When the tears didn’t subside,  Louis tried sitting back in the recliner.  He placed Finlay against his chest in their usual position, wrapping the blanket around the two of them and rubbing his hand against the baby’s back.  After a while of the repeated motion, Louis had become accustomed to the sound of wailing, and began to drift off again.  He was jolted back to the room when Finlay began to hiccup with the force of his shrieking, and Louis sighed as he trekked into the living room with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders.  

 

He started the process of making a bottle, thinking that maybe Finlay could be hungry.  

 

“Lou?  Is that you, baby?”  Having attempted at calling his mum whilst the bottle was heating, Louis was so glad that she picked up.

 

“Mum.”  Louis could hear the “ _oh Louis_ ”  on the other end.  “He won’t stop.  I’m sorry it’s so late, but he’s been crying for like, almost three hours now.  I mean, he stopped during his bath and for a ten minute nap, but I just don’t know what’s wrong with him.”  

 

“Have you gone through the checks?”  Louis shoved the phone between his shoulder and face as he rearranged his arms so he could try and feed Finlay a bottle.

 

Hungry? _dealing with it._  Nappy? _nope, a quick smell of the bum left that option out._  Tired? _we all are mate, but you can’t be crying about that_.  Hot/ sick? _he’s a bit warm, but that could be because he’s all worked up.  I’ll open up his one piece just in case._

 

“I think so.  I’m trying to give him a bottle now, but he’s not taking it.”  Louis was getting frustrated with Finlay now.  His head constantly turned away from the bottle that Louis tried to guide into his open mouth.  “I know he’s teething and what not, but I’ve done everything about that that I think I’m supposed to do, and I don’t think it’s the pain type of crying, you know?”

 

Louis continued to talk to his mum for a while, walking around the flat subconsciously after abandoning the bottle.  When everything she suggested still left Finlay bawling, Louis let her get some sleep and tried Liam, knowing that he would still be up at gone midnight on a Friday.  

 

Liam wasn’t much help either really.  Louis doesn’t know why he thought he would be, considering Liam was a non-parent in his early twenties whose only relationship with children under 10 is the days where he takes care of Finlay.  Why would he know how to help when Louis mum didn’t?  

 

It was coming up to one o’clock and Louis did the only thing he could think of.

 

“‘lo?”

 

“Did I wake you up?  Shit I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.  Shit, just forget I rung and go back to sleep.  God, I’m such an inconsiderate person, I mean of course you’re going to be asleep at this hour.”  Louis was getting more flustered by the second.  His continuous movement of bouncing Finlay in his arms and walking about was like second nature at this point after having repeated it for so long.  

 

“Louis, it’s fine.  I really don’t mind.”  Jesus.  Harry’s voice was so gruff and deep when he’s just woken up.  Louis found  himself being lulled to the slow pace of Harry’s words and _focus_ _Louis!_   _That is not what this call is about_.  “Is everything alright?  Can I hear Finn crying?”

 

“He won’t stop, Harry.  This has been hours now.”  Louis didn’t even have it in himself to be embarrassed as the tears began to fall from his own eyes.  “He just won’t stop and I don’t know what to do because this has been hours and both of us are tired but I can’t work out what is wrong with him so he’s not going to sleep and I’m so close to doing something so morally wrong as a parent like putting vodka in his milk or something but I really don’t want to do that.  Who am I kidding, even that won’t work because he won’t even let the bottle nipple anywhere near his mouth but if that doesn’t work I’m probably going to have to take him to the hospital and I’m really scared of doing that because I really don’t want there to be anything wrong with my baby, you know?  Harry, I really don’t know what to do.”

 

A loud sob came from Louis as he slid down the wall as he finished his ramble.  This, of course, just made Finlay cry even louder.  Louis placed a hand against the back of the baby’s head and cried into the soft, brunette hair that covered it.  

 

“Hey!  None of that.  Please don’t go putting alcohol in the milk because that will get Finn taken away from you and we don’t want that happening, do we?”

 

“Harry!  I don’t want to lose my baby!”  Louis was so spent that this simple idea made him cry even louder again, setting off the chain reaction that made Finlay cry louder.

 

“Just calm down for me, Lou.”  From what Louis could tell, Harry seemed a lot more awake than he didn’t less than five minutes ago.  “Do you want me to come over?  Because I will if you want me to.  I can see if I can help settle Finn, or let you sleep if he won’t.”  

 

“I can’t let you do that.”  Louis’ tears had faded to hiccups.  “Thank you, though.  I just need to get him down and then I’ll be okay.”  

 

“Let me talk to him.”  

 

“Huh?”

 

“We’ve established he likes to hear me talk, so let me talk to him.”  

 

Louis didn’t have it in him to argue.  He put the phone on loudspeaker, humming as a cue for Harry.

 

“Hi baby.”  Harry’s tone gave no clue of the late hour.  He sounded as though it was during the afternoon, and the phone call was a typical occurrence, which Louis had to admit it had become recently.   “Are you listening?  You gotta be good for your daddy, okay?  He does a lot for you, and right now he needs his sleep so he can be an amazing daddy for you again tomorrow.”

 

Harry was the second coming of Christ.  There was no other way to describe him.  His voice could bring back people from the dead, Louis was sure of it.  

 

Finlay began to snuffle against Louis chest, getting quieter by the second.  His tear ducts must have dried up and lungs red raw with the trauma of this night, but Louis couldn’t care about anything else other than the words that were coming from Harry’s mouth and curing all of his problems.

 

“But first, you’ve gotta go to sleep so he can do that.  I need you to stop crying, baby.  You’ve got to calm down and have a nap, and we can start all over again tomorrow.  Can you do that for me?”  

 

For the first time for what seemed like a lifetime to Louis, the Tomlinson household was silent.  The line went quiet and Finlay’s head was heavy against Louis’ chest, so he went to whisper his thanks to Harry when it turned out Harry wasn’t finished yet.  

 

A modern, a capella version of John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy”  played out into the open air of Louis’s hallway.  Harry’s voice was beautiful itself, but when he sung it was like liquid gold, pouring across the microwaves in the air.  Louis could feel himself relaxing, and took the phone with him to put Finlay in his crib for the second time that night before he fell asleep himself.  He made sure the baby monitor was on, just to check, and closed the door to Finlay’s room, leaving it on the latch.

 

Harry reached the end of the song just as Louis got under the covers of his own bed.  

Silence stretched for a moment; the clock read ‘01:28’.

 

“You have a beautiful voice.”  Louis whispered, ruining the tranquility.

 

"Thank you." Louis could imagine the blush rising on Harry's cheeks. "Is he off?"

 

"Yeah, you're a miracle worker.  Quietened down as soon as he heard you.”  

 

“Well, at least you both can get some sleep now.”  There was a short but comfortable silence across the line.  It was like neither man had anything else to say, but couldn’t bring themselves to disconnect the line just yet.  “Hey Lou?”

 

Louis hummed a response.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pop round?  I don’t mind at all, I’d love to come over.  I can just chill in the living room if you want to sleep, see to Finn if he wakes up again.  Or I can give you a nice ol’ cuddle if you want, you deserve one after the night you’ve had.”  

 

Harry’s broad smile could be heard over the phone, and Louis puffed out a laugh at his enthusiasm.  How could the man be so awake at this early hour of the morning?  

 

“I’m alright, H.  You need your sleep too.  I’ll see you in a few weeks, yeah?  Love you for offering though.”  

 

Louis couldn’t hear Harry’s reply.  He was too far gone in his own sleep.

 

~*~

 

To say Louis was stressed was an understatement. The beginning of September had flashed warning signs for him even though he had been slowly planning for the better part of August. The last 10 days had become a combination of fret, tension and worry. The day had come. It was Finlay's first birthday. Even though Finlay would never remember this day, Louis was determined to make it as extraordinary as he could for his little boy.

 

Today was also the day Louis was finally going to meet Harry.  In person.  In the flesh and everything.  He wouldn’t admit anyone, but Louis’ kind of using the stress and panic of making today special for Finlay to not think about how stressed his is about Harry coming over.

 

Finlay hadn't woken up yet which gave Louis the opportunity to start decorating the flat. The plan was for everyone to meet at the local park and have a bit of a picnic slash outdoor party, seeing as Louis didn't have a personal garden himself, and then slowly trapse back to the flat for presents and drinks. It wasn't much as a kid's party, but Finlay wasn't old enough to need to have an entertainer or something of the sort. It'd do.

 

The family were supposed to arrive at around o'clock, but that could change depending on traffic issues, so Louis' friends who had been invited were on standby, waiting for the text confirming the meeting time. Anyhow, it gave Louis approximately six hours to sort everything out. It was possible, but Louis' panicking mind was telling him it wasn't.

 

By nine, Louis had his own presents for Finlay wrapped and piled next to the television. The living room and kitchen area was filled with plenty of balloons with a large '1' printed on the side of each; some stayed against the wall with a large amount of sticky tape, whilst you had to wade through a sea of them to get anywhere in the room. Streamers were draped along the back of the sofa, around the rims of photo frames, falling across the screen of the TV. Louis had even invested in a professionally printed banner that read "Happy 1st Birthday Finlay" with two pictures of the boy, one from a few weeks ago and the other when he was only a few days old. To be perfectly honest, Louis knew he had gone massively overboard with decorations, but he didn't care. He just wanted to make Finlay happy.

 

As Louis puffed his final breath into the last balloon he owned, the baby monitor started to flash and a murmur came through. A large smile broke onto his face as he tied the balloon, striding down the hall to watch his son fully wake on his very first birthday. Louis opened the bedroom door to find Finlay rolling about on his back in the crib.  One clothed foot was bent up and in his shoved in his mouth, a frown covering his face.  

 

“C’mon kiddo! You can’t be sad on your birthday!”  Finlay’s face lit up when Louis got nearer to him.  His foot left his mouth, and his hands reached up as Louis bent down to lift him out of the bed.  

 

Louis adjusted Finlay on his hip, preparing himself to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to his son, when…

 

“Daaaaaaa.”  

 

Louis stopped moving.  Finlay let out a loud giggle and hid his face in Louis’ neck.  Now Finlay wasn’t one to stay quiet, and often babbled away with various different sounds like “da”, “boo”, “gaah” etcetera.  But this wasn’t the same.  The way Finlay said it, this was different.

 

“Finn, buddy, can you say ‘Daddy’ for me?”  Louis stretched out the emphasised word, saying it slowly to try and help Finlay repeat.

 

Finlay just laughed again, butting his head against Louis’ chin.  “Dadaa!”  

 

Shocked, Louis began to laugh along with Finlay.  It was a bit hysterical really, and the tears joined the smiles.  Finlay had just called him ‘Dad’ for the first time - Louis was certain of it - so of course Louis was going to be emotional.  Louis exclaimed into the room, the sound loud and passionate as he threw Finlay into the air.  The boy loved this new game and squealed with delight as he landed back in Louis’ awaiting hands.  

 

The tears were still falling as Louis smacked a kiss against Finlay’s cheek, the boy squealing louder when he blew a raspberry on the skin of his neck.  

 

“My God, Finn, you have made my day!”  Louis was ecstatic that Finlay’s birthday had started so well; he felt like it had set the atmosphere for the rest of the day.  He placed Finlay on the dressing table (well, it was a mat on the top of a chest of drawers but Louis liked to call it that) and distracted him with a plush monkey whilst he gathered Finlay’s clothes for the day and set about calling his mum.  

 

Unashamedly, Louis liked Finlay to have nice clothes.  He didn’t go over the top like he knew some parents did, but he liked his son to look presentable.  Louis had probably gone a bit overboard with what he planned to be Finlay’s birthday outfit compared to what he normally buys but it’s Finlay’s day so who’s going to stop him?  

 

Finlay seemed to be a good mood when Louis was speaking to his mum - _“I promise Mum, he genuinely said it! He called me his ‘Dad’!_ ” - and was very compliant when Louis dressed him.  The navy roll-up [trousers](http://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-poplin-rollup-trousers/p1713359?colour=Navy) Louis had invested in were just that bit too long, but it meant that Finlay could grow into them.  Overall, Louis was rather pleased of how fashionable Finlay looked in the trousers that he matched with a soft Levi’s [tshirt](http://www.johnlewis.com/levi%27s-baby-short-sleeve-logo-t-shirt-white/p1827359) and a stylish navy canvas [jacket](http://www.mothercare.com/Navy-Canvas-Jacket/671067,default,pd.html).  He knew Finlay was going to be the best dressed out of everybody today, but he deserved the chance to steal all of the attention.  The outfit would go perfectly with the canvas [shoes](http://www.clarks.co.uk/p/26108872) his mum had bought for Finlay as a present - they may or may not have coordinated with each other on that one.

 

After making some french toast squares with blueberries and yoghurt - Finlay’s favourite - and making sure that everything for the picnic and in Finlay’s day bag was packed, Louis settled on the sofa with Finlay on his chest.  He spent some time alone with his son on his birthday, and other than the day of Finlay’s birth, Louis doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.  

 

In between twenty minute updates from his mum about the traffic and playing an intense game of hide and seek under the sofa blanket with Finlay, Louis was waiting for a text from Harry.  They’d been speaking sporadically all morning, but Louis had text him over an hour ago to tell him about Finlay’s first word and he was yet to reply.  It got to just after twelve and Louis’ phone was beeping.  His and Finlay’s game had turned into dancing to whatever was on the radio, something which Louis was certain Finlay didn’t have a clue as to what was happening, but was just happy to bounce along on Louis’ lap.  Louis sat Finlay against the cushions as he raced to answer his phone where it was charging.  Expecting a text from his mum telling him they were in London, Louis automatically unlocked his phone to reply to whatever was there.  But it wasn’t the text he expected.

 

**I AM SO SORRY!  My stepdad had a mild heart attack earlier, so I’ve had to catch the next train up north because he’s been admitted to hospital.  You don’t understand how upset I am that I can’t make Finn’s party!  I’m coming back to London tonight so I can pop over then if it’s okay with you?  I just don’t know how late I’m going to be and I don’t want to disturb F if he’s asleep or whatever.  I really am sorry Lou, let me know yeah?  Have a good day today!**

 

Oh.

 

Louis felt bad for admitting this to himself, but he was gutted Harry couldn’t make it.  He had been so ready to actually meet him, and between themselves they had kind of meeting at Finlay’s party a thing for them.  Even though he hadn’t met Harry in person yet, they had spent hours on facetime and the phone with each other.  They knew each other, and Louis wanted to introduce him as a friend (at least) to his other friends.  To Finlay.  He was ready for today.  

 

But now Harry couldn’t make it.  Louis almost felt cheated upon.

 

 _i’m sorry to hear that haz, i hope your s-dad’s okay?! it’s fine about today tho, just get some sleep when you get back, we can sort something out for another day.  finn’s gonna be gutted you can’t come!_  

 

Louis deemed his response appropriate. Telling Harry how Louis felt he had been let down probably wasn’t the best way to go because of the circumstances, but Louis really felt like doing that.  Harry’s reply was almost immediate.  

 

**Robin will be okay, he’s a fighter, thank you for your wishes though.  But I’m gutted I can’t see him!  Baby’s turning 1, you know!  Maybe I could come over tomorrow instead, if you didn’t have plans?  Got presents and all!**

_yeah, tomorrow’s good.  i think finn’s gonna be less mad that you ditched him if you bring presents ;)  [only joking, but i really didn’t expect you to get him anything.]_

 

Today was just a very emotional day for Louis.  An array of feelings were whirling around Louis’ mind as he sent the text: dismay that Harry wasn’t coming, gratefulness that Harry was so kind to buy Finlay something, that small amount of stress that today had to be perfect and now might not be working it’s way in there too.

 

**Yay!  Sing happy birthday to F for me, gonna miss not being able to party with you.  I’ll let you be with your family today, but text me later? Sorry again, H.xx**

 

_alright you loser, speak to you later x_

 

So, Harry wasn’t coming.  But his family was, and so were Liam and Niall, and that’s what is important.  That’s what will make Finlay’s first ever birthday so special.  

 

-

  
  


If anybody were to walk past the window, they would think Louis and Finlay were crazy.  Both boys were stripped down to their pants, rolling across the covered carpet into dollops of paint.  

 

The Tomlinson clan had left back to Doncaster a few hours previous, and to spend some one-on-one time with his son again after the chaos of yesterday, Louis decided to thoroughly dig through the mound of presents Finlay was so lucky to have received.  Finlay was probably the most spoilt one-year-old in the city, and Louis had no idea how he was going to store the huge amount of gifts in the apartment; they were currently all haphazardly piled onto the kitchen table at the moment, Louis didn’t want to have to think about them for a while.

 

Having mulled over his choice for a good ten minutes, Louis thought it would be a good chance to get Finlay’s creative juices flowing with the accumulating pile of arts and crafts supplies Niall had provided Finlay with.   Bottles of paint, mess mats, even an [Aquadoodle ](http://www.mothercare.com/Aquadoodle-Classic/111455,default,pd.html#q=aquadoodle)and all its accessories, Niall had truly gone to town.  Finlay had got stuck in immediately, fascinated that the colours stayed on Louis’ skin when he rubbed his hands on it.  Louis was happy to let Finlay play and imitated the boy by laying on his front, getting into painting his own picture.  

 

In between showing mock awe at Finlay’s enjoyment, Louis’ thoughts drifted to the events of the day before.  Never mind Finlay, he himself was unbelievably fortuitous for the support system he had in his friends and family.  They were always there for him regardless of the situation, and witnessing them around Finlay properly allowed him to fully appreciate that.  Watching his little sisters push Finlay on the swings, how Finlay reacted with other babies his age in Dotty and Ernie, 20-something year old guys chilling at a baby’s birthday party when there are probably better things for them to be doing.  Louis was blessed, Finlay too.

 

Finlay had migrated onto sitting atop Louis’ chest.  Louis had squeezed out two small blobs of paint onto his shoulders, and Finlay was using them to create handprint trails along Louis torso.  Dumbfounded wasn’t even close to describe the look on Finlay’s face, Louis’ hands holding him upright as he squealed in delight.  No matter the sleepless nights and screaming fights, nothing could replace the emotions Louis contained when Finlay was learning, when he was enjoying being with his dad.  This was what it was all for.

 

The doorbell and Louis’ phone both went off at the same time while Louis was encouraging Finlay to stand up on a piece of blank paper - he was determined to have Finlay’s hand and footprints framed on the wall to commemorate his birthday.  

 

“C’mon kiddo.”  Finlay was hoiked up onto Louis’ hip, babbling and whining were words should be.  Louis knew he was probably trekking paint through the house, but it’s nothing that won’t come out later.    

He reached the door as the bell went again.  Louis quickly glanced at his phone at the same time as opening the front door.  

 

 _Shit_.  

 

**7 missed calls: Harry**

**Still okay for me to come over in a bit?  Be there around 3?**

**Lou?**

**I’m outside, can I come in?**  

 

“Shit.  Harry.”  

 

“That’s me.”  Louis’ head jerked up at the voice.  There was Harry standing in the doorway, two bags in each hand full of items Louis could ever imagine of.  

 

Finlay’s mouth gaped at the voice, holding onto Louis’ cheek. The “ _Da_ ” that he drawled excitedly seemed to be his way of saying “ _I know him, Dad!”_ But Louis was too far in shock to pay attention to his son.

 

Louis had been waiting for this moment since he first invited Harry over.  He had a fair idea of what he looked like, plenty of facetime calls and photos had been shared between the two that they were no longer strangers.  But Louis couldn’t have prepared for.. this.  

 

Harry’s hair was flowing down to his shoulders, the usual scarf that tied his curls away foregone for the occasion.  His eyes were wide and inviting, smile broad creatin deep dimples on either cheek.  A peek of a [skull print shirt](http://www.ysl.com/gb/shop-product/women/ready-to-wear-classic-shirts-paris-collar-shirt-in-black-and-ivory-skull-printed-viscose_cod38462027du.html#dept=prefall_women_) was visible under his long black trench coat.  

 

And Louis was stood in his pants.  

 

“Shit, Harry.  I -”  Louis was speechless, exasperatedly looking at Finlay, who was excited that someone had come to play, then down at himself, then back at Harry and let out a puff of breath.  

 

“You forgot I was coming.”  Harry’s smile falters slightly, and Louis is immediately saddened that he caused that.

 

“No!  I mean, yesterday was just so busy, and then my family left this morning, and me and Finn were having some down time and… yeah, I forgot.  I’m so sorry Haz, come in come in.  What you standing out there for?!”  

 

Louis was frantic in his words, ashamed at himself. He ushers Harry in quickly, setting Finlay on the ground and gives him some [plastic keys](http://www.mothercare.com/ELC-Lights-and-Sounds-Keys/138455,default,pd.html) as a distraction for a while.  

 

“I can come back another day.  Like, if you’re having bonding time or whatever I don’t wanna disrupt that for you.”

 

Harry looked genuinely sad, like he felt his presence wasn’t wanted.  Louis needed to change that promptly.  

 

“No.  Sit.  Make yourself at home, careful of the paint.  Give us ten minutes to shower and put some clothes on and we’ll be back.  I promise.”  

 

Harry looked relieved at this, and rid himself of his coat before settling into the sofa.  Cheekily, Louis pushed Finlay’s paint covered hand against Harry’s cheek.  Harry gasped at the cool liquid dripping down his face, and Finlay giggled when he saw his handprint in the paint.  Louis just smiled, large and brash, and nonchalantly wandered down the hall, leaving Harry in the living room.  Finlay had began to talk and laugh even louder just before they entered the bathroom, and Louis turned round just a moment too late.  A cool and wet feeling had begun to seep through his pants and it was his turn to gasp in horror.  

 

“Harold Styles -”

 

“‘S’not my name.”

 

“I let you into my home and you _grope me!_ I have the right to report you, you know.”  Harry just stood swinging back on his heels.  His hands were clasped behind his back, and his face resembled that of a child who knew he’d been bad but enjoyed it.  

 

“I think you’re arse looks much better now. The pink really compliments your skin tone.”  

 

Louis squints his eyes in retaliation, spinning round and locking the bathroom door behind him and Finlay.  He can hear Harry chuckling to himself as he presumably goes back to the sofa. He lets out a sigh as he slides down to the floor against the door, sitting Finlay, who is still very amused by the paint and colours, on his thighs.

 

“Seriously!”  He whispers to Finlay, running a hand over his paint-ridden hair.  The drying specks creating odd-coloured highlights in the soft, blonde strands, and Louis kind of liked it.  Finlay looked up at Louis, hands pushed against Louis’ cheeks and laughs when Louis pouts his lip out.  

 

“Gi's a kiss, Finn.”  Finlay mimics Louis’ pouted lips when Louis moves his forehead to rest against his. He makes a overexaggerated ‘mwah’ noise when his sticky lips meet Louis, and begins to laugh even harder when Louis starts to dramatically kiss all over Finlay’s face.  

 

“C’mon you, let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

Finlay rarely had showers, only really when Louis was in a rush so they had to shower together, but he loved it.  The two were stripped bare under the water and Finlay was wriggling with glee when the steady stream was pattering against his back.  He seemed to enjoy the soothing feeling the droplets created, so it was easy for Louis to wash Finlay and himself over relatively quickly.  

 

Finlay also loved it when Louis wrapped him up tight in a small towel, and Louis really wished he had brought his phone to the bathroom with him because Finlay resembled a baby burrito like this.  After wrapping a towel around his own waist, he goes through to his own room, hollering a _“won’t be a minute!_ ” down the hall.  Once he had dressed himself and Finlay, he finally strolled into the living room and plonked down on the sofa next to Harry.

 

“Hi.”  He breathed out, a small smile presented in Harry’s direction.

 

"Hi." Harry's eyes were soft and welcoming.

 

"I'm sorry about earlier. I don't normally walk around practically naked- actually, that's a lie," Harry scoffed a laugh at that. "But, I wanted to make a good impression, and maybe forgetting you were coming and then greeting you in my pants wasn't entirely appropriate." Louis shuffled Finlay in his lap to cope with his slight uncomfortableness with the situation. Although he had spent many hours thinking about how this interaction would go, he wasn't entirely sure if this was right.

 

"Hey, we're friends right? Friends are comfortable around each other. If you wanna be naked, be naked. I'll even strip too if it'll make you feel better." Harry's bashful smile made Louis push at him, laughing too. Finlay began to babble loudly again, the plastic keys having lost their fun factor. It caused Louis to remember the true nature of their budding friendship.

 

"Oh um, yeah, this is Finn. You probably guessed that already but..." Louis passed Finlay over to Harry and settled further into the arm of the sofa. His bare toes grazed Harry's thighs, but he didn't think too much into that.

 

A look of amazement washed over Finlay's face when Harry rearranged him on his lap with a drawn out "Hi baby." Louis could tell that Finlay recognised the voice, and showed his excitement by digging his fingers into Harry's cheeks as he continued talking.

 

"I've waited so long to meet you," Harry continued, "so I hope you remember me. I hope you had a good birthday yesterday as well, Baby's finally one, eh."

 

Louis watched over the interaction, glad that Harry could make Finlay happy, that they got on so well. His thoughts suddenly changed when Harry passed Finlay back over.

 

"I, um, bought him some presents, you only turn one once and everything."

 

"Harry, you really didn't have to. I didn't expect anything like that-"

 

"It's his birthday. A boy should get presents on his birthday." Harry's tone cut Louis off, making it clear that he didn't want to argue. He pulled one of the bags around in front of him, and joined Louis and Finlay when they slid down to the floor.

 

Louis was trying to carefully slide the mess mat away, folding it over so to try and minimise any further mess, when Harry placed a package in the space between them.

 

Finlay must have got the gist from yesterday and tried to pick the present up with his hands, but the gift was too big so Louis sat Finlay between his legs and moved the object closer to him.

 

"So, like, it was my favourite when I was little, and I didn't know if you read to him or whatever but..."

 

A copy of _Guess How Much I Love You_ by Sam McBratney fell from the wrapping paper once Finlay (with some help) had ripped his way through.

 

"I just kinda thought it was fitting, you know. A dad and his son." The blush was high on Harry's cheeks as he hid his face timidly.

 

"Harry, I..." Louis knew the gift wasn't all that special, just a book and all that. But the way Harry explained its reasoning made it much more incredible.

 

Finlay startled babbling again, chubby hands waving the small book in the hair once he had discovered how to get a grip on it. Louis extended a toe to nudge Harry's leg, mouthing a soft " _thank you_ " over Finlay's head.

 

More presents came: more classic baby books, such as _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_ , a [buggy driver](http://www.mothercare.com/ELC-Lights-and-Sounds-Buggy-Driver---Red/130648,default,pd.html) that Louis was certain Finlay would annoy the crap out of him with, and a large plush [elephant ](http://www.toysrus.com/buy/jumbo-sized-stuffed-animals/toys-r-us-plush-15-inch-elephant-183985-11539984)accompanied by a smaller plush [giraffe](http://www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Giraffe/715807,default,pd.html).  

 

“I really can’t accept all of this Haz.  It’s too much, I don’t even think my mum spent as much on him as you did!”  Louis just kept staring at the pile that had accumulated in front of him.  Finlay was having a whale of a time throwing the giraffe about, and Louis was beginning to get emotional.  “Harry.”

 

“Hey!  I didn’t want you to cry!  I just wanted to spoil him y’know.  Like, my goddaughter loves a good present, but he’s Baby.  I wanted him to have a good birthday.”

 

“But we barely even know you!  You’re just some stranger from a wrong number that we called one day, and here you are giving Finn more than I could for his birthday.”

 

Harry pulled Louis to his feet, clutching Finlay to his side and giving both of them a good hug.  Louis hated this feeling, that some stranger could do a better job as Finlay’s father, that some stranger could provide more for his son than he could.  It hurt.

 

“How about I sort out the nibbles that I brought, you clean up this mess and pick a film, and we just sit and have a chat?”  

 

Louis pushed himself further into Harry’s hug, sniffing slightly.  He ran a hand over Finlay’s head, and let out a calming breath.

 

“Yeah alright.”

  
  


Louis was enraptured.  He couldn’t take his eyes off Harry playing with Finlay at the other end of the sofa.  Harry had his heels resting up on the coffee table that had been placed back in front of the sofa with Finlay sprawled out across his chest.  Finlay seemed to love having someone new to play with, and didn’t mind letting Harry have his way.  

 

A slight smile was permanently on Louis’ lips at the sight on Finlay trying to ‘find’ Harry under a blanket.  It was even funnier when the roles switched, and Finlay couldn’t conceal his giggles as he hid his face behind the [blanket](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDzScrkWYAA87vs.jpg).  

 

“Can I take a picture?”  The way in which both Harry and Finlay’s heads turned to look at Louis in unison was almost comical.  “Of the two of you?”

 

“Yeah, um sure.  Like this or..?”  Harry’s hand came to his hair, smoothing it down like he was a stereotypical teenage girl preparing for her yearbook photo.  

 

“Just carry on playing, I like getting natural pictures of him.”

 

“They’re the best ones, I think.”  Harry did as he was told, putting the blanket over his own head and teasing Finlay.  Louis dug his phone out from between the sofa cushions and snapped a photo just as Harry pulled the blanket away, managing to get bright smiles on both faces.  

 

“‘S cute.”  Louis mumbled to himself, reviewing the picture he had just taken.  

 

“I know I am.”  Louis kicked at Harry’s thigh when he saw the grin flashed in his direction.  

 

“Shut up.”  Louis repositioned himself on the coffee table, pushing Harry’s feet off so he slides down the sofa a little.  “Will you hold him on your lap, so he’s facing me?”

 

“Proper photoshoot going on here.”  Ignoring Harry’s comment, Louis made faces at Finlay once he had been moved about to produce a smile.  The smile on Harry’s face was genuine as Louis snapped his next [picture](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CHVECC3WUAAdrnq.jpg), taking a secret one when Harry looked down at the baby on his lap.  

 

Louis returned to the sofa, flicking through the few pictures he had taken.  This time, he sits against Harry’s side, leaning against him with his finger in Finlay’s fist to show Harry his phone.

 

“I like them.  Send them to me?”  A casual hum came as Louis reply.  “You know, I’m really glad your kid’s really smart.  If he hadn’t rung me that day, I would never have met you, but I’m happy that I’ve got to know the two of you.  You’re good people, Lou.”

 

His head rest against Harry’s shoulder as he looked up at him.  They both sat there for a moment, smiling and staring at each other.  It was calm, a tranquil moment between the two.

 

Or three, as Finlay didn’t like to be forgotten.

 

And he made sure he wasn’t as a loud fart ripped through the silence.

 

Both men burst out laughing, Harry quickly turning to a look of disgust when the stench hit him.  This made Louis howl even harder, stomach clenched as he doubled over in laughter.  

 

“Oh God, what have you been feeding him!”

 

“You were the one introducing him to houmous!  Just because he ate it doesn’t mean it agreed with him!”  Louis spat the words out through his tears, which streamed even harder when Harry held the child at arms length.  

 

A distressed sound came from Harry, paired with an uneasy glance, when Finlay started crying.

 

"Do you want me to, like, change him?" It was obvious Harry was okay with children, but maybe not being around them 24/7 left the reality of moments like this slightly obscured.

 

"I'll be one minute."

 

Louis was still laughing as he soothed Finlay in his arms. Harry slumped back into the sofa cushions as he left, a puff of air blowing what was sort of a fringe off of his face.

 

When Louis returned, not only did Finlay smell a lot better, but he was a lot cleaner too. Harry turned his head towards them, smirking at their entrance.

 

"I bet that was pretty."

 

"When you have kids, you become immune to any sort of liquid or body fluid."

 

Harry's eyebrows shot up and wiggled suggestively at the comment.  Louis glared in response.

 

"There is a child in the room, Harold. Control yourself."

 

When Louis reached the end of the sofa, he sat on the floor and held Finlay out in front of him. This caused Harry to turn to them in curiosity, watching Louis interact with his son.

 

"Hey Finn, you gonna go see Harry for me?" Louis began, steadying the child on his feet. He then directed his words towards Harry. "I've been trying to get him to walk more comfortably; it's better if there's someone physically there, like a goal for him to get to or something.  He's gone back to crawling since the first time he walked, I don't think he likes it that much."

 

Mouthing an " _oh_ ", Harry knelt opposite the boys in the floor, holding his arms out to welcome Finlay.

 

"C'mon Finn, come have a cuddle with Harry."  Finlay looked at Harry with confusion when he spoke, and lost balance trying to turn his head to find Louis, a frown emerging when he landed on his bum.

 

"It's okay bud, up we go." Finlay reached out to balance himself on the sofa once he was upright again, so Louis left him be. He was glad Finlay was figuring out how to do this kind of stuff on his own.

 

A tentative foot stepped out and Harry grin was bright. Encouraging words continued from his end, and after a wobble (where Finlay fell forwards onto his hands, but pushed himself back up) he eventually got in arm's reach of Harry, who swooped him in his arms and started to blow raspberries onto his stomach.

 

And this moment is what Louis wanted to see.  He wanted to see Finlay’s behaviour naturally around Harry, to make sure he wasn’t enjoying Harry’s company just because he was there.  He needed to know Finlay was comfortable in Harry’s presence, because it was all about Finlay.  

 

“I like his new [outfit](http://www.mothercare.com/adidas-Spiderman-Shorts-and-T-Shirts-Set/LE2321,default,pd.html), by the way.”  The grin that formed on Louis’ face beamed at Harry’s compliment.  “The whole superhero thing is very you.”

 

“I’ll have you know Spiderman is Finn’s favourite, told me himself.”  

 

“Uh huh,”  Leaving Finlay to roll around on the floor, Harry rejoined Louis on the sofa.  Their toes grazed each other’s thighs, and Louis couldn’t help but think that this was a very domestic situation to be in.  Harry began to play with the hem of Louis’ socks as he continued with a smile on his face.  “and how did he tell you that then, hmm?”   

 

Proceeding to go into a very in depth explanation about how Finlay picked the Spiderman figurine when provided with the main Marvel and DC characters, Louis was too engrossed in his anecdote to be fully aware of the way Harry was looking at him.  The admiration in his eyes would make someone think that Louis was retelling how he saved a puppy from a burning building, his eyes wide and interested in each word Louis had to say.  Louis didn’t notice, but the looks were there.

 

“But I saw this, and the fact it was Adidas as well.  I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself.  He’s a proper cool kid anyway, so he can pull it off.”  Louis turned his gaze from watching Finlay get comfortable on the carpet to Harry, whose intense gaze refocused him.  

 

“He needs to go down for a nap, really.”  Louis shook himself away from the eye contact and picked up Finlay, holding him close to his chest.  “He won’t sleep tonight if he doesn’t go down for a bit soon.”

 

“Yeah, of course.”  Harry stands, reaching for his coat that’s draped across the back of the sofa.  “Guess that’s my cue to leave then…”  

 

Louis’ heart sunk.

 

“Well, um.. yeah, if you want? I mean, you’ve probably got better things to do than hang around us two losers.”

 

“I don’t, actually.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Just thought, you’d want your space with him.”

 

“I don’t, actually.”

 

Harry smiled, and Louis returned it.  

 

“I’ll just… sit back down then.”  

 

“Grab some of them posh beers you brought before you do.  I’ll be right back.”

  
  


And the night went like this.  One beer in, Finlay woke up from his nap.  Harry made dinner: rice and grilled chicken breast pieces for Finlay, a homemade jambalaya-style dish for himself and Louis.  Louis then proceeded to salivate over Harry’s cooking skills.  Peter Pan was put on low volume whilst Harry and Louis continued to talk about everything.  Louis couldn’t keep his eyes off of the sight of Harry giving Finlay his nighttime half-bottle (he had been trying to wean him off the expected milk); the way Finlay had settled in Harry’s arms was engraved into his mind for eternity.  

 

And then Finlay was asleep again, curled up in his crib.  And Louis was slightly tipsy, nursing his fourth beer of the night already.

 

“This is the best posh beer I’ve ever tasted, Harold.”  

 

“I’m glad.”  

 

Louis doesn’t think he’s had this much to drink in a long, long time.  Yeah, he’d have the odd one if Niall or Liam popped over, but four in a row was pushing the limits of Louis’ newly found alcohol tolerance from fatherhood.  Harry, Louis had discovered, was a gentle drunk, soothing and reticent as he caresses Louis’ ankle.  

 

"I think I'm drunk, and I shouldn't be drunk. That is not a good thing. You've done this to me, and I have a child to look after. How could you?"

 

Harry just hummed along to Louis' ramblings, his thumb keeping a constant rhythm around Louis' ankle.

 

"Oh God, I really am drunk. I can't handle my drink like I used to."

 

"Kids do that to you."

 

Louis murmured in agreement, and the two settled into a comfortable silence. He was far to comfortable with allowing Harry's fingers to draw patterns on his skin, way too comfortable around someone whom he only met nine hours ago.  

 

But he liked the way Harry looked at him.  He liked being around someone out of choice who didn't know him before Finlay, who wants to be friends with him post-baby, for who he is now.  

 

"You can ask, y'know?"

 

Fingers tapped against Louis' achilles and squeezed lightly.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"About Finn, his mum and that."

 

"Oh."  Harry starts, clearing his throat and sitting up against the arm of the chair.  The seriousness of the conversation sobers up the atmosphere.  "That's really none of my business, Lou."

 

"But you're thinking about it.  Everybody who doesn't know thinks about it."

 

As his voice begins to stutter, Louis draws his legs up to his chest, distancing himself from Harry at the other end of the sofa.  He feels vulnerable, and he doesn't like knowing that other people can see that.

 

"You don't have to.  Louis, I don't need to know anything else than what I know now to be unconditionally enamoured with both you and your son.  You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

 

Harry brings his arms around Louis' shoulders, letting him settle into his chest.

 

"But the thing is," Louis chokes on the air that he slowly tries to draw in.  His chest heaves in Harry's arms, and presses his face into Harry's shoulder to muffle the words that come out. "that he's not my son.  I can't even call him that.  He's my nephew, H, not my son.  How is that fair?."  

 

Harry held Louis close, letting him ramble on about his faux relationship with Finlay.  Louis was a confusing combination of exhausted and drunk and lonely; all he needed in that moment was to let it all out.

 

-

 

Louis jolts awake with his head thrown against the back of the sofa. There is a drool stain drying on his chin, and he struggles to initially move as he tries to settle a crick in his neck and a pain in his lower back. Wondering why he is in the living room, he stands, checking on Finlay being the first thing on his mind.  He promptly trips over and is startled by a loud "oomph".

 

He blinks down at Harry, who mirrors the blank and surprised look.  They stay there for a while, both faces transforming through a plethora of expressions before Louis stutters out a silence-breaker.

 

"I, um.. Finn?"  The sentence comes out as a question as Louis points his thumb in the direction of Finlay's bedroom.  "Yeah," he decides, "Finn."

 

When Louis returns, with a baby still sound asleep in his crib, Harry is sitting against the sofa, picking at his shirt sleeve.  There is a hint of awkwardness in the air as the two men sit next to each other in silence.  Louis begs the entirety of his inner will to not openly stare at Harry because he doesn't know what to say to him, but his miniscule side-glances to gauge the man's reactions to _anything_ go completely unnoticed.  

 

"Thank you for inviting me over yesterday.  I loved getting to spend time with the both of you."  Louis takes Harry's words as a ceasefire and allowed himself to give Harry his full attention.  "I guess I better go now, though.  I didn't mean to overstay my welcome."

 

"Oh, yeah.. I mean, I've got to sort out Finn when he wakes up and I'm a bit hungover right now, so we're probably not gonna be great company."

 

"Of course, I probably shouldn't have stayed as long as I have, so..."

 

The awkwardness was painstakingly horrific. Neither man knew what to say to the other, and for Louis, it felt like the entire build up to the meeting with Harry has reached its anticlimax. The atmosphere in the room was the polar opposite of how it was yesterday. Louis didn't know how he was supposed to process this.

 

Harry moved to put on his shoes and shrug on his coat. Even in yesterday's clothes, Louis couldn't help but notice his beauty. He couldn't help but stare, yet all he could think about was Finlay and being a good father.

 

"I'll text you," he begins, meeting Harry at the door to see him out. "I had a great time yesterday, with you and Finn. It was nice."

 

"Lou." Harry sighed.

 

"Please, don't."

 

Harry did. He leant in and kissed him, lips moving slowly against Louis' still ones. Louis fingers gripped tight onto the doorframe as Harry nudged his lips again, willing Louis to reciprocate. Louis' eyes screwed shuts, tears gathering in the corners. The feeling of Harry's mouth was so certain that it made him want to yell, scream, sob, but he was frozen.

 

Harry sighed when Louis remained stationary, pushing their foreheads together with a " _please_ " on his lips.  His hand came to Louis' neck in the same moment that a bawl came from inside the flat.

 

"I need to go," Louis squeezed the frame tighter when Harry replaced the position of his forehead with his lips. He could feel Harry breathing through his nose against his hair, the rough of the pads of Harry's fingers on his cheeks.

 

Then, he was gone.

 

Down the hall, down the stairs. Gone. Without a word.

 

Louis released a long intake of air as he closed the door and saw to his crying baby.

 

He's an idiot.

 

-

 

"You're an idiot."

  
  


"I -"

 

"Louis Tomlinson, don't make me have this conversation with you again." Louis curled in on himself, stress eating the entire box of apple and cinnamon toddler puffs that Finlay adored. He glanced down at his son, who was concentrating on _The Little Mermaid_ playing in the background. "Don't you dare use Finn as an excuse for your stupidity here. If I hear you once say that you did this for him, then you are officially the stupidest man I have ever known."

 

"But -"

 

"No, Louis.  This is all you. You told me yourself that they both fell in love with each other yesterday, so this has nothing to do with him. This is you thinking that you can't be a good dad if you find someone, because you've told me that yourself. And I'm telling you now, you're wrong."

 

"Liam -"

 

"Do you want to kiss him again?  And I want this answer to be all about you, not about Finlay.  This is about _your_ feelings."

 

Louis paused, thoughts whirling through his head, before he let out a defeated sigh.  "Yeah."

 

"I'm going to hang up now, and you are going to call Harry and apologise for being an absolute arsehole to him this morning. I haven't even met the guy, but from what I've heard he seems pretty genuine and doesn't deserve the shit that you gave him earlier, okay. You completely lead him on, and I can't imagine how he must feel right now."

 

"Sorry."

 

"Don't apologise to me."

 

Liam hung up on Louis. Okay then.

 

-

 

Together, Louis and Finlay had decided it was time for cake.  Having sat and watched an episode of _The Great British Bake Off_ with each other, Louis couldn't stop thinking about a gorgeous slice of warm chocolate cake, oozing with melted fudge sauce and topped with dark chocolate icing.  The decision to pop to the shops had been made when Finlay had promptly shouted _"Yum!_ " when a three-tiered coconut and mint flavoured wedding cake appeared on the television screen, and then wouldn't stop repeating it.  

 

"Buggy or bike?"  Louis had his head stuck in the storage cupboard, searching for his lost trainer whilst blindly tieing Finlay's own laces.

 

"No." came the reply.  

 

He sighed, sitting down fully whilst placing a baseball cap on his son's head.  

 

"It's too hot for me to carry you all the way to the shops, so buggy or bike?"

 

Finlay sat too, trying to cross his legs in the way Louis had.  He paused thoughtfully, before deciding on the bike, chosen by a pointing finger.

 

"Alrighty then."  

 

Anyone with kids will know that completing a task as simple as going to the shops takes about three times as long as it normally would, and Louis' case was no different.  Once they finally made it outside,  Finlay was securely strapped into his trike, that had a handle for Louis to push along from behind, as was cheerfully waving at anyone who passed.   

 

His buzzing phone distracted Louis, and he decisively ignored Liam's third pestering text.

 

_have u rung him lou? u need to sort it out!_

 

Louis is a fully grown adult man and he will sort out his issues in his own time, _thank you very much Liam_.

 

The coolness of the air-conditioned supermarket was more than welcome to the boys, and Finlay was desperate to get out of his seat and toddle alongside Louis.  Little fingers grasped his hands as Louis trailed through the aisles, which happened at a slower pace what with Finlay being new on his feet.  

 

They were stood in front of the large selection of cakes on offer, Louis trying to find the richest, most indulgent chocolate cake there was (he felt the need to splurge), when he was shocked at the sound of a tired " _Lou?_ " and an excited " _Da!_ "

 

It was as though all of the Gods of hell had decided to play their tricks on Louis all at once.  Harry was walking towards him, a basket full of vegetables and cereal balancing in the crook of his arm.  Finlay rushed excitedly towards him, wobbling on his feet as he carried himself over the marble floor.  

 

Harry swooped low to pull Finlay up onto his hip and looked exasperatedly at Louis, ignoring Finlay's tiny extremities tangling in his hair.

 

Louis looked back.

 

"Do you want to come over for cake?"

 

Harry grinned, and so did Louis.

 

-

 

"He needs to come first.  All of my focus needs to be on my son."

 

Louis had decided rules needed to be set during his conversation with Harry.  

 

During that split second that Finlay had rushed over to the man, Louis had decided that if he was ever going to collect the courage to speak with Harry, he might as well do it now.

 

"Of course, one hundred percent."

 

Louis was once again enamoured by Harry's interactions with Finlay, watching on as Harry used a fresh baby wipe to clean chocolate from Finlay's face, much to the distress of the child.  

 

"And we take it slow, I don't want to do anything that might confuse or upset him."

 

Harry set Finlay down on the carpet, who instantly crawled away.  He shuffled along the sofa to be closer to Louis.

 

"I completely understand your reasons for all of this.  I know that Finn is your main priority, and I will never take that away or expect anything else from you.  And I also want you to know that I care for your son, and that if anything ever goes wrong between us, I don't want it - no, I won't let it affect your son in any way."

 

With fingers tangled in Harry's lap, Louis let out a breathy laugh.  Soon enough, the two men were giggling uncontrollably, collapsed on top of each other.  

 

"That was the most cringeworthy thing I have ever said in my entire life."

 

Harry's words made them laugh even more, but they were interrupted by a ringing phone.

Long fingers dug into Harry's pocket to find his phone, looking at the caller ID.

 

"It's,"  Harry glanced again at his phone screen, his face the epitome of confusion. "It says it's you, Lou."

 

The two men looked at each other, then back to the phone.  A mixture of giggles and babbles came from across the room.  Finlay sat with his arms between his legs, smashing his hands at the screen of Louis' phone on the floor.   When he noticed the man watching him, he produced a drooling grin, holding the dialling phone in the air.

 


End file.
